Hello there, friends! As many of you know I haven’t had internet access and have had one hell of a year, well I kind of want to touch base on that and update you some lovelies, the ones who have been asking questions and what not. So as many of you know I faced a huge financial battle this year and because of how many supportive friends that I have on here I was able to have food, paid some on electricity and was able to take my seizure medications! Yippee! To be honest, I went 5 days without eating, went without AC while it was in the 90s, and was bruised up from head to toe at that time and I was humiliated. So to have loved ones such as yourself do this for me not only made a way, but it humbled me to a great extent to know how many good people surrounded me through their shares, likes, prayers and/or vibes, amazing donations, and most of all the fact that I finally had amazing and trustworthy friends!
Well ladies and gentlemen, I made two awful mistakes. First mistake was closing down raising $ with my fundraiser without reaching my goal just because I figured there was two forms of employment found, I had a close friend that didn’t mind just helping out babysit, and I was wrong for thinking things were just better and felt that everyone saw me different because I was this loser and beggar. The second mistake I made was literally asking God and the Universe, why I was rock bottom and thinking things couldn’t get worse because man, they did!!!
One clue of advice, my friends, never ask this question because I think God and/or the Universe took this as a challenge! Like you think that was hard, let me show you some shit! I mean don’t get me wrong, I lived through worse things as an innocent child. No child should ever have to face torture to extremes to get the highest bidder’s perverted fantasy fulfilled. Even though I have lived through this and I have even loved through dying 3 times before the age of 10 and was brought back, I still find my current issues harder to face. Not because it was all in the past, definitely not. In fact, I live with those images and flashbacks daily but what makes my situation so difficult for me is the impact it has on my three amazing children. With them, it changes everything. If It was just me on my own, I wouldn’t care what would happen to me but since I was blessed to be a mom, It changes every fiber of my being because I may not have chosen to get pregnant with my first child at 19 but I chose to keep her and I made her the choice and promise to protect her above all else. I have to put my pride aside and I must remain strong for them.
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
So to bring you up to speed and give an update on yours truly and her big family(including all the animals I rescued from death or an abusive situation), things seemed to get better for maybe a month after I did the fundraiser back in April. Things spun out of control and the last few months we have scrambled, walked, applied and tried everything in our power to survive but we are to the point of having no more way, an eviction notice hanging over my head by my own family, no money whatsoever to get out of the eviction, no internet or phone service so are unable to get a hold or hired for any jobs, and three kids that deserve the best and I don’t know what to do. I am absolutely at the end of the line. After I disabled the last fundraiser a month later Thomas’s boss ran off with all his employees checks even though I knew the boss since forever, the car that was providing the other form of income was repoed because when family said they would pay it that didn’t happen. So we went quickly to below zero once again. I kept hope and pushed through and found every resource I could to help and things continued to crumble. As some may know, I am in remission for liver cancer for the last four years, well after getting deathly sick from a spell of not eating again and who knows what else, test results show that my liver enzymes and kidney levels are through the roof even more than they were at cancer status. I haven’t been able to afford the biopsy and tests I need let alone my maintenance dose of chemotherapy that I have been on for years. My inflammation levels are high and I have been in excruciating pain. I also have been fighting seizures and seeing my loved ones not get the proper treatment as well. It has been literally one thing after another. The doctor put me on bed rest until I can find out what’s going on with me and then my world comes crashing down and my children got hurt if you don’t know about the situation, you can read about it @ https://touchmyspinebookreviews.com/2018/07/20/motherhood-heartbreak-how-do-i-pick-up-the-pieces/.
I will tell you that thankfully my children haven’t been without food because us adults stopped eating for them a few times and now we have food benefits and help from our church with food but everything else is CRAZY!😵 I also found out that my children were hurt and that made things go through a whirlwind. I panicked at every turn but finally regained my will and I’m the end I’m still at a lost and running out of time quickly. I struggled to pay for copays and any deductible for my kids to be seen by a specialist and they still need to be seen but my car doesn’t have insurance and needs a repair. Also the “friend” that was the babysitter that first month stole our rent money and hacked into our accounts, stole everything I own of value, and even stole family heirlooms that were irreplaceable or push come to shove could have been maybe sold for a way but she took everything. I am fought to stay myself through all this but now I am at the point of losing it. We have to come up with some money by next week and we have to come up with a plan because we will be homeless and hungry in the next 2 weeks.
I know that that’s a lot to digest and you’re probably already running to the hills!!!
I don’t know for sure why I am blaring this on public forum besides the fact that I feel bad that I have been so minimally active and really felt I should have given everyone a better follow up after the fundraiser and I love to vent here in the occasion, to be honest. Lol. Not only do I love to vent on here because this is the only place that I feel like I can be myself and have support from real friends. The friends that I have missed dearly. Phew! Does it feel good to let it all loose to you guys! Another thing I wanted to share was that I wanted to see if anybody was interested in my services for great prices.(I know that sounded a little sexual but promise that I am not offering sexual favors over the internet. Lol. No judgement though, if that’s your thing because to each is their own. What I am talking about is I have been a professional Tarot, Oracle, Angel Readings and Lenormand Reader, I also have professionally read palms and conducted basic numerology and astroloft reports. I knew you guys knew I was a reader and into many different psychic things and many different divinivation tools but I don’t think I shared with many that before my recent spiritual awakening I did professional readings years ago for about four years in a small business. I also have been accepted by Zodiac Psychics as a Tarot Reader and Life Coaching or being a counselor of sorts. Not only do I have professional and educational experience in all types of divination, I have my Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. I know some may be thinking who would want advice from someone who doesn’t have it together financially and such but suruprising as it may be, I also have certifications in drug counseling and have volunteered for many years as a counselor at The Rape Crisis center and as a speaker and mentor at group homes that I attended as a child. I still have clients that I have seen for Tarot & advice that I started seeing 5 years ago, just unfortunately they came upon some stress as well this year so I try to help them out anyways much as I can. So with all this being said, it’s beyond obvious that my family needs a way to make money and I am to the point at putting my pride aside but I don’t want to offer nothing in return to people. I mean if you guys aren’t into any of the stuff I offer or some kind of book promotion and want to help me out and donate anyway, I would be forever grateful and definitely am not trying to say I’m too good for donations at all. In fact, I would love some prayers, shares, vibes, encouraging words and/or donations to help go towards keeping our home together and for me keeping my children. I’m so sorry if this comes off as begging or any kind of way but I really want to give my kids a home and also find a way to get to work and do what’s best for them and get medical treatment and pray for a miracle. Even with all of this and knowing my chances of survival are slim if my cancer has returned, I still have that drive and push to keep things going and to fight for my kids. I also want to be there for you guys as well! Which luckily my neighbor is letting me use her internet because she is going out of town for the next week or two so I can hopefully figure something out. I don’t know if I should start another fundraiser via GoFundMe due to the fear of losing my children to very unkind people but my PayPal e-mail is email@example.com and I will also have a free texting Wi-Fi number working starting now again which is +1-843-941-7929. Please email or text me about any services I could provide or any questions whatsoever. Thank you for hearing me out my friends. Regardless of anything, I am so glad that I have met you all and will be visiting your blogs over the next few days! Yay!💖XOXOXOXO😘💯💖
P.S. I also want to request that everyone can send positive vibes and/or to Stephanie @ Stephanie’s Novel Fiction! She has been having some serious health concerns and I think she is one of the most amazing people in the planet so she deserves a speedy recovery. Steph, thanks so much for all you have done for me. You are a fighter and I know you are going to get better and end up on top! 💖💖💖
Sorry for lack of proofreading, my device is being slow and TBH I am very anxious and feel vulnerable about all I shared so going to proofread later when I calm down and feel better. Love ya guys! Hakuna Matata, Loves! Xoxoxoxo 🌹💜🌹💜