Hey lovelies! I know that I have barely popped in over the last year and I will admit I am quite ashamed that every time I thought I could make a 100% come back, things didn’t happen as planned. I know everyone in the World of Blog(really, everyone in the world) is having troubled times and I hate to write this out to explain about me when I haven’t been the supportive friend and blogger I know I should have been to all of you, my lovelies!
And damn! I know you guys have been there at some of the worst of times! I really am sorry for not being around but life has turned into one helluva tornado and has twisted and turned until there were many times I thought I was going to give up but for my kids, family, & friends I still have hope for brighter days even if that light of hope is quite dim at times. I have lost several loved ones to covid-19 and experienced the virus first hand while grieving. Unfortunately, coronavirus has led to me having multiple seizures while I was infected and battling for my life with it but the crummy part is once I finally test negative for the virus after a month and a half, unfortunately, the health problems didn’t end then, they escalated. I was finally making some peace with my grief but post-covid-19 health problems hit me with a bang! My epilepsy worsened and have been having seizures a couple times a week since and honestly the anxiety and fear from that alone has been deeply overwhelming. I feel blessed because I have help with my kids through this whole mess and while on bed rest and get help with them while they go to school online. Of course as many people whom have faced many struggles, that wasn’t the only thing I had to contend with. My children’s father Thomas(which I have talked about his health in the past) went through many health emergencies(not related to covid-19). He was hospitalized on and off and of course without enough money or insurance they just told him they couldn’t figure out what was going on but seemed well enough. Well the first of December, he went to the hospital after working just a day of work because he came home swollen everywhere. Blessed be, that the ER doctor promised they would do everything in their power to find out what’s going on with him. Well after a whole week of tests, medications, and labs. We find out that he now has Stage 3 Kidney Disease/Failure brought on by Nephrotic Syndrome. He also was found to be legally blind suddenly only able to see 20/200 in one eye nothing in the other and it couldn’t be fixed through glasses or anything like that, couldn’t work anymore and is facing a lot of pain and difficulty adjusting to the pain and his inability to really see anything. He also has Brittle Diabetes/Type 3 so I give him injections at least 5 times a day. With all the pain from the seizures and with my autoimmune disorder and fibromyalgia flaring up really bad, it’s been extremely difficult to help with the kids when needed and tend to now 2 fully disabled adults. Putting all the sudden loss of income and the inability to get any health insurance for Thomas, it’s been quite the ride on one helluva roller coaster and it’s been really difficult to get back up from each fall. Most of my time is all a blur and taken up recently but with Thomas unable to see his phone and he can’t really see the TV either, I play him books via TTS on Kindle. So listening to the books I play during the day makes me think about and miss the blog-o-verse so much! The best of friends I have met via WordPress and other platforms. I have to admit that I was being a bit of a coward at one point and was so scared to come online and see everyone going through so much and knew my anxiety and overwhelming Empathy couldn’t take it seeing the suffering of any of my friends in the world of blog. I have been overwhelmed with guilt, anxiety, and fear of losing someone else to this pandemic that has stole something from us all and I truly apologize because I should have been showing more support in those rare moments because I know I received love from you guys during some rough times. Not only do I want to apologize to my friends and fellow bloggers but also to my author friends, publishers and platforms for being so behind on book reviews! *hides*
Speaking about my friends in the book industry, not only do I apologize but want to explain a concern I am having that is also putting a damper on reviewing books and this brings me to an explanation and my question…
I have a Kindle Fire and had all my books in my cloud and the Send to Kindle section but my 5 year old son grabbed my tablet and said he wanted to take a picture with it… Well I grabbed it right back and I noticed my Kindle books disappeared inthe main library and then went to the cloud and they were gone too! I mean, hallelujah freaking monkey balls, I was freaking out! About 5,000 books in my regular Kindle library
which I am not going to lie that most of them were free ones I got over the years but didn’t change my love for them!!❤ but my review/mobi file books from NetGalley, authors,and publishers were GONE! Okay so they weren’t totally gone, I went into the Amazon app and found them under Device Content but here’s the problem, I wanted all my books back to their proper place but once I started checking books off to get them back where they should be but when I selected a page worth they would all get sent to download and I didn’t have enough space for just 50 or so booksand wouldn’t let me archive the books so that they were there just not downloaded. Also it doesn’t just show the whole name of book or which I ne came from the cloud so it’s been impossible to find a way to get all of them back in the library where they belong! Do any of you good folks have any advice on how to deal with this? I contacted Amazon Support for Fire and was no help at all! So any tips or help would be so much appreciated so I can go through and get these reviews popping and back to where they belong!
With all of my ramblings and explanations of why I am a hot mess! I just wanted you guys know that Dani is still here, sorry for not supporting your amazing blogs like I wish I could have, and sorry for the rambling but you guys know me, I ramble and I really wanted to explain why things have been a hot mess, how I am just trying to get by, and really do miss the blogosohere and hope to be back consistently soon!❤💛 You are all beautiful people, I love you & you rock!!!