Review: First Grave on the Right by Darynda Jones

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Charlotte Davidson works with the police force and is a private investigator but her most interesting job is that she is The Grim Reaper. So you’re thinking Grim Reaper that’s a pretty scary title must be some crazy lady who is dark and mysterious. Well my lovelies, you would be wrong. Charley Davidson is sarcastically hilarious, kind hearted, a fast healing, puts her foot in her mouth, names her breast and a hot mess of a woman. In First Grave on the Right she is introduced and wakes up from an erotic dream that feels oh so real and oh so yummy but the dream is interrupted by her Uncle Bob calling because of a double homicide. But of course there’s a dead guy in her room, just another day in the life of Charley Davidson. She is brought on the case with the local police department as a “consultant” to investigate 3 lawyers that were executed. Along with her different cases Charley is reunited with a creature that is so beautiful yet so dark and she is lost on what kind of being he is. At least she has help with the conquest with a dead 13 year old gang banger, her best friend and receptionist Cookie, a sexy skip tracer and good old Uncle Bob. Will Charley Davidson crack open this investigation and be able to find out what creature has been following her? Will she fall through her adventures flat on her face and escape death? Will she fall in love with something that she can’t quite explain. Read The First Grave on the Right by Darynda Jones to find out and have the ride of your life.

I give this book 5 out of 5 laughing my big behind off stars! Charley has to be one of the best characters I have come in contact with! Charley and I share some qualities; we both live for sarcasm, love others to a fault and name our lady parts! On my chest I introduce you to Wilma and Betty and for my ovaries we have Scrambled and Toast. Now with introductions out of the way this has to be one of my favorite books thus far I would recommend to anyone especially if you like paranormal romance/humor!

Notable Quotes:

“I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.”

“Just because I see dead people doesn’t mean I want to be dead people.”

“Oh she liked me, every inch”

Flash Sale! The Suspenseful Collection $.99 — Didi Oviatt *Check out this ebook from these two awesome ladies!*

Kim and I have a lot to celebrate, so we decided to mark down the price to our short story collection so that our readers can celebrate with us!! Between the up and coming release of my new novel Search For Maylee, Kim’s nomination for best romance of 2017 for A Stranger In France, and […]

via Flash Sale! The Suspenseful Collection $.99 — Didi Oviatt

Review: The Medical Examiner(Women’s Murder Club #16.5) by: James Patterson and Maxine Paetro

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Claire Washburn, Chief Medical Examiner thinks it’s going to be a busy night at the morgue when two bodies show up at the morgue but she is even more surprised when only one of them is dead! Since Lindsay Boxer is away on a much needed vacation with her husband Joe, Rich Conklin takes on the case of millionaress that returns from the dead was found in a hotel left for dead with her lover(not her husband) dead on top of her. This book ends up being more surprising by the minute as Detective Conklin and the rest of the Women’s Murder Club try to find the murderer.

This book was more 3.5 out of 5 stars. I have enjoyed and read all of the Women’s Murder Club books and have enjoyed them thoroughly. I usually like reading these bookshots when I am looking for something quick to read. I felt this book had potentially to be a great story but because it was 100-150 pages long it lacked in sustenance. If you are reading all the Women’s Murder Club books it won’t hurt if you miss this these novellas in between. Can’t wait until the next adventure with the Women’s Murder Club!

Hurricane Irma strikes South Carolina and brings out the Crazies!~ My Irma preparation experience and Walmart

Hello lovelies! I hope everyone is staying safe with Hurricane Irma heading up the east coast! Praying for the families that lost loved ones from this drastic storm! This blog post is not to be making fun of anyone affected by this horrific storm this is just my experience with hurricane Irma preparation in South Carolina. The grand ole Palmetto State that is filled with smiling meth faces and the people of Walmart gone crazy Part 1.

So anyways South Carolina declares a state of emergency the other day before they know what the hell is going on. The news is literally saying we have a 50 percent chance to be effected by rains and storms. Well no shit Sherlock, anyone can say something is 50 percent going to happen it either is or isn’t plain and simple. So because South Carolinians do not know how to deal with any change in the weather we got freaking pandemonium. We have a tropical storm advisory right now and I understand that can be serious and all that good stuff but it’s not to the point that all the gas stations are selling out of gas and people are fighting over gas like seriously I was in line waiting to get gas and this dude is like you stole my spot in line, looking crazy got one eye looking at you, got one eye looking at the sky. So these idiots start pushing each other and the asshats get gas on the ground. Of course I have Sal with me. Sal has tourettes syndrome and I am his caretaker. So because the window is rolled down(no AC) these crazy people start making him tick so he keeps saying “oh you major poor slut” and “oh no daddy” Then they are yelling and one of the crazy dudes the one with the ‘crazy eyes’ lights up a cigarette while hes cussing saying you can kiss my ass, you know you get the gist. He keeps hearing Sal cussing and slamming the car around so it sways a little so this pisses Crazy Eyes off more. I see him waving around the lit cigarette and the gas on the ground I’m like fuck this I stop blaring on the horn at them and get out of there. Said a few hail Marys(even though I’m not Catholic) and made the sign of the cross for good measure that my ass didn’t get blown up because of Crazy Eyes. Geez Louis and I was in line for like 30 minutes so I search for another gas station.

I get to another gas station and wait in line for another 30 minutes for them to tell me they ran out of gas and this is before we even have any concrete warnings like hello dumb people!!! A girl can’t get a gallon of gas without these crazy people. So I decide “Shit on it” I will just drive on fumes because the rest of the gas stations are closed down. Since I ran out of groceries and had to get food for my kiddos, I realized I have the worst luck possible of course its time to buy groceries and your stupid enough to go to Walmart(yes I talk to myself)! SO Lawsy me… One word… WALMART

Okay so I was born and raised in the Lowcountry of South Carolina and I know that means there is little standards for me. It’s a normal occurrence for people to walk around half naked with their muffin tops hanging over there 4 sizes too small pants and its normal for people to wear the night clothes in South Carolina. I get it no judgement here but when you are wearing see through 4 sizes too small pants with a thong that looks like your butt crack is going to devour please I repeat “this is not sexy and scary” I mean I saw all the crazies today half the population wasn’t wearing shoes. Euw. Then you got some people that look like they just sold themselves on Spruill Avenue for 10 dollars. I mean I’m not trying to judge anyone but there is children around they don’t want to see your asshole. I know I have no room probably to judge I’m walking through the store with someone whose making a song up about whores and cussing in different languages because the anxiety makes his tourettes go but I think I still have a right to say “NO!!!” to people’s asscracks in public. And we are not going to even start with the pants to small and the women look like they have a whole busted can of biscuits as a stomach.

So I’m walking through Walmart even though I’m frightened by all the scary half naked people and the drunks hitting on me with there wife next to them, I’m thinking to myself Danielle your on a mission, just get the necessities and get the hell out of this place. So I go to the bread aisle, there is no bread. Okay go to the drinks, not only is all the bottled water gone there’s a homeless person sleeping where the water should be. Well crap on a cracker…So I patiently wait and let Sal cuss this man out for a minute while he sleeps to get it out of his system…So I just grab a few things and squeeze my way through people hoping not to touch anyone’s private parts.

I get to the line and feel overly anxious from all the crazies making Sal’s tourettes go off so I’m getting stares while Sal is calling random people whores but whatever we made it through and see a pack of water so I go for it and this lady comes up to me and says “Girl I will box you in the face if you take that water” So I narrow my eyes at this woman…. What the hell…. I said “why isn’t your water in your buggy ma’am, I need water for my kids?” She says “I’m saving this water for my girlfriend who don’t get off for another 30 minutes.” Okay now I’m getting mad… So I say “girl you can’t save water this isn’t like a concert where you save seats” So she takes her big behind and sits on the case of water by the check out lines and gives me the finger. Well…. I’m not touching that water now. Touche to the crazy lady with the water and thank you God that you helped me keep my tits calm so that I didn’t have to box that lady in the face.

So I just want to get the hell out of this place. But of course the store is packed with people its fucking pandemonium and they only have 4 registers out of 22 open?!?! What the fuck Walmart you make billions and won’t even have people at registers. So I get stuck in line for an hour and have to wait behind someone who had four kids. Well kids are cool and all but these kids were crazy! They were taking out grapes out of their buggy and throwing them at me. Ohhhhh man the icing on the mother freakin’ cake! Of course the parent doesn’t care unless the child is quiet! I get to the register by the grace of God and I say “hello how are you?” and the lady gives me the death stare that is all. No manners and when she rang up the total she just turned the screen so I could see it. Now thankfully I’ve been working on my craziness with my therapist because my tits were about to spontaneously combust at this point. I mean I hate freaking Walmart.

Anyways I made it through even with the person that I caregive that has tourettes with me. I even made it home on fumes! Thank you God… Does anyone else go through this with Walmart or deal with freaking pandemonium when the weather changes slightly. I’m losing my hope for mankind tonight and might be scarred for life. But the point of this story is everyone “Calm your tits South Carolinians, its a tropical storm you don’t have to fight and show your ass to everyone because it’s a storm coming.” God, I pray for South Carolina we give the people of Walmart a new name. Sorry about my rambles lovelies I just had to get it out of my system! I hope everyone is safe during the storm! I love you all in the mouth and pray for your safety! Hold down your forts ya’ll. I’m happy to report I’m in the safety in my home and reading First Grave on the Right by Darynda Jones. Thank you Kim for the recommendation you rock!

** These pictures are from online. I left my phone at the house unfortunatley but these pictures are an example of what I saw. Unfortunately i saw worse tonight. Smh

Review: Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter

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Three sisters, all beautiful in their own way are torn apart from each other. Claire and Lydia’s sister Julia vanished without a trace 20 years ago. Julia’s disappearance has tore her family into pieces. From the death of their father to the fallout between the two remaining sisters, Claire and Lydia. 20 years later Claire’s husband(Paul) dies a tragic death. Things start to unravel and somehow their sister’s disappearance is connected.
The good thing about Paul’s death is that Claire and Lydia reunite and make a truce to stick together to find out what the hell is going on and what happened to their sister 20 years ago. These two pretty girls but total opposites will go on adventures and experience a dark and sick life that has been undercover for years. Will they be able to finally make peace with each other and will they finally after 20 years find out what happened to their sister?

This book was amazing I definitely give this book 5 out of 5 stars! This book showed the love and bond between two estranged sisters and broke your heart but then mending it back together. Pretty Girls also made you want to flip pages and stay up late at night drinking coffee wishing you could find out what the hell is going to happen next. This book is full of twist and turns! This is one of my favorite thrillers and would recommend this book to anyone who loves suspense! This book had me at the edge of my seat and craving more. This book can be very intense and it is true what they say about Karin Slaughter she writes with a razor!

Mystery Blogger Award

img_2827Hello everyone! I hope everyone is having a great holiday weekend! Today I am posting about The Mystery Blogger Award, which was created by  Okoto Enigma. I was nominated by an amazing blogger: Darque Dreamer Reads. So go show this awesome lady some love! And thank you so much beautiful, you made my day!! ❤

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The Rules:

  • Put the award logo/image on your blog.
  • List the rules.
  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  • You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  • Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).
  • Share a link to your best post(s).

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Three Things About Me:

  • I am a random person that screams random obscenities! *grabs tits*
  • I am a mother to 3 awesome kiddos!
  • I am new to the blogging world and can’t wait to meet new people:)

 

The Wanderlust Reader’s Questions:

Why and how did you decide on your blog name?

Darque Dreamer has been a name I have used for a while. Darque is pronounced “dark” and I refer to myself as such because I usually have dark, vivid dreams at night. I had found an artist years ago who spelled the word this way, and I loved it. So when I decided to name my blog I went with Darque Dreamer (me) Reads.

If your life were turned into a movie or book, what would the title be?

If my life were a book or a movie the title would probably be Dreaming in Books.

What’s your favorite genre to read?

My favorite genre to read it probably YA fantasy.

What’s a hobby of yours?

Besides reading, my hobby is playing video games.

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

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Coffee Loving Bookaholic’s Questions:

Recommend one bookstore you love and tell us why you love it?

I haven’t really found a bookstore I love! Barnes and Noble can be expensive sometimes, and doesn’t always have what I want.

What were the last three books you bought?

The last three books I bought were Blood Magic, Wonder Woman, and Spellbook of the Lost and Found.

If you’d win in the lottery right now, what would be the first thing you would do?

I would pay off debt first if I won the lottery.

If you could be any animal for one day, which one would it be?

If I could be an animal for a day I would be a cat.

How would your perfect library/reading room look like?

My perfect library/reading room would have 2 opposite walls full of bookshelves and a fireplace on another wall with a super comfy lounger across from it. 

 

Darque Dream Reads’s Questions:

*What is one thing about you that people don’t believe?

A large amount of people don’t believe that I never experience jealousy and that I can’t have hate in my heart. I’m all about that hippie shit. Peace, Free Love, we’re all beautiful kind of thing:)

*What book would you love to live in?

Man that is a difficult question but I would have to say that I would love to live in my current read Rock Chick by Kristen Ashley. Two words: Liam Nightingale! I have always been a fan of the rock lifestyle and Lee is the kind of Alpha male that is the man of my dreams!!

What time period would you love to travel to?

Like stated above I am kind of a hippie so I guess the 70s would be pretty badass. I mean think about it Woodstock, BABY!

*What book genre would you consider reading a book from without knowing the synopsis or title?

Humorous Mystery and if it has a bit of Romance in there, I’m all there baby.

*If you could buy one book for everyone to read, what would it be?

Dammmnnn…. that’s a hard question but I think I am going to have to go with Pretty Girls by Karen Slaughter. It’s one of my favorites its a great enthralling thriller with so many twists and turns! Absolutely love it!

My Questions (Touch My Spine Book Reviews):

Why did you choose your current blog name?

What is your favorite book?

What is your favorite thing to do, besides reading:)?

If you could change anything about this World what would it be?

What was the last book you read?

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I think my best post would be 2017 Eclipse Moncks Corner SC

The Eclipse post shows a lot of my personality and my sarcastic ways. Please bear with me loves, I am new to the World of Blog so if I messed anything up my bad!!!

I Nominate: 

By Hook Or By Book / Lana’s Life in Words & Lyrics / Tea With Roses Tomes / Mel To The Any / Book Huntress’ World / Smorgasbord / Carries Book Reviews / I didn’t have my glasses on… / Joelendil’s Kingdom of Books / The Shameful Narcisstist Speaks

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