Berkeley County, South Carolina, USA (843)941-7972 daniellepirok88@gmail.com If you email or contact me through my Wi-Fi based work #(preferably email or text), I will get back to you A.S.A.P.

Update On Dani’s Crazy Life And What’s Been Going On, Grief…


Random Rambles

*Possible Trigger Warning

So I have been promising a few on a update with me and my crazy life. This is going to be a bit of a hard of a thing to talk about but it’s not all bad. If any creepers are on my page just to get facts about me, heads up, being possessive and taking away every bit of my freedom and privacy is not cool. Sorry about that rant, my friends but the person whom I am referring to and others know that I am talking about them and it’s no one I met online.

Let’s start with some good news though my family has finally a stable source of income at least for the next year or so. This is a huge blessing and I couldn’t be more thankful for something coming in.❤❤❤

So to kind of put it out there for the bad news it started 6 months ago. I was not doing well mentally, physically or financially and to top that off someone burgalarized my house taking all my money for my bills and posessions that couldn’t be replaced. Then I found out my kids were sexually harassed and it was like my brain was tugging at straws to stay alive. As well as my health took a sharp turn for the worse. On top of that have someone whom you have taken care of for years tell your children you’re a terrible mom and they aren’t cared for. I mean if someone has all these problems with you and is a P.O.S. and can’t say it to your face instead they rather talk to themselves and around your children and your family about all their issues with you and poor them. Fuck that shit and I’m going to get off that because that’s not my main thing I am battling right now and don’t have time to let hypocritical Christians eat up my soul and waste anymore of my time. My love for that person is fading because if someone doesn’t want you to be happy and only cares about their feelings than that’s on them. Fuck it. *brushes shoulder off* This is really the big issue but I guess it feels good to get some of the pent up hurt out.*I started this post a week ago and have forgiven this person and know they are neurologically sick but am not forgetting but they are going to get help. This person isn’t my main issue at all but it feels like a lot to edit to remove it because what’s in the next paragraph is what stopped me from posting this post.

Now to the main thing that’s current and I have been facing is I found out I was far along 5-6 months pregnant and didn’t even have an idea how. I mean my intuition was telling me but doctors told me I couldn’t and it’s been so long since I had relations at least with any man. *Sorry for my bluntness today* But I was already feeling kicking on even the outside so when my appointment came last week I was already nervous because of the dangerous medications I was on but to wrap this up so it doesn’t trigger anyone or anything. I had a heartbreaking loss.😢 There was no heartbeat on the screen and I fell apart. I fell apart but everyone else was falling apart around me and I had to try and keep my head above water. So I guess all the sickness and how much my blogging experience declined was due to an unhealthy pregnancy full of stress. So I said goodbye to a little one that I only have seen once and never got the chance to know and it was so later on that I miss all those jabs and I miss all the fear yet excitement of something so unplanned but my intuition warned me the night before with a dream/vision so I kind of prepared myself that day before going and feeling no jabs and rolls but I don’t know if it’s possible to prepare for this grief. I have experienced a few miscarriages but this just seemed to knock the wind out of me but like they say when you TRULY are rock bottom, there is only one way to go but up.

Please accept me back as an active bloggy member as soon as I can get my head above water. I feel so bad for all my absences. Please pray or send me thoughts or vibes that I continue to push forward, that my kids stop being bullied and stay happy and healthy and that my family’s overall health improves. Four sick adults is no fun and also those prayers we can have a chance to catch up financially with all the sudden changes and expenses in life.😕 I’m sorry for this negative posts and I swear I have been doing everything in my power to change my outlook and let go of these crazy hormones. I love you all and I can’t thank you enough for all the times you have been there for me. I have hope and I will be pushing through because I loved being part of this community and miss everyone with all my heart but please know I have hope.

This song and everything behind it plays through my head all the time now and it’s so relevant in so many ways to how I feel.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=EKF6ghfcQic

Lyrics: 

I’ve gotta keep the calm before the storm
I don’t want less, I don’t want more
Must bar the windows and the doors
To keep me safe, to keep me warm

Yeah, my life is what I’m fighting for
Can’t part the sea, can’t reach the shore
And my voice becomes the driving force
I won’t let this pull me overboard

God, keep my head above water
Don’t let me drown, it gets harder
I’ll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees
Don’t let me drown, drown, drown
Don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me drown

So pull me up from down below
‘Cause I’m underneath the undertow
Come dry me off and hold me close
I need you now, I need you most

God, keep my head above water
Don’t let me drown, it gets harder
I’ll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees
Don’t let me drown, drown, drown
Don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me drown
Don’t let me drown, drown, drown
Keep my head above water, above water

And I can’t see in the stormy weather
I can’t seem to keep it all together
And I, I can’t swim the ocean like this forever
And I can’t breathe

God, keep my head above water
I lose my breath at the bottom
Come rescue me, I’ll be waiting
I’m too young to fall asleep

God, keep my head above water
Don’t let me drown, it gets harder
I’ll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees

Don’t let me drown
Don’t let me drown (don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me drown)
Don’t let me drown (don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me drown)
Keep my head above water, above water

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