Berkeley County, South Carolina, USA (843)941-7972 daniellepirok88@gmail.com If you email or contact me through my Wi-Fi based work #(preferably email or text), I will get back to you A.S.A.P.

#BlogTour For The Things We Learn When We’re Dead by Charlie Laidlaw

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The Things We Learn When We’re Dead

Genre: Contemporary Fiction/ Humor

Publication Date: January 26, 2017

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With elements of The Wizard of Oz and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, The Things We Learn When We’re Dead shows how small decisions can have profound and unintended consequences, and how sometimes we can get a second chance.

On the way home from a dinner party, Lorna Love steps into the path of an oncoming car. When she wakes up she is in what appears to be a hospital – but a hospital in which her nurse looks like a young Sean Connery, she is served wine for supper, and everyone avoids her questions. It soon transpires that she is in Heaven, or on HVN. Because HVN is a lost, dysfunctional spaceship, and God the aging hippy captain. She seems to be there by accident… Or does God have a higher purpose after all?

At first Lorna can remember nothing. As her memories return – some good, some bad – she realises that she has decision to make and that maybe she needs to find a way home.

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Trailer Reveal

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Excerpt Reveal

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The old man was as good as his word and a tray was swiftly brought by a male nurse in white clinical overalls who looked spookily like a young James Bond. On it was a plate of grilled lamb cutlets, string beans and sautéed potatoes. There was also a warm bread roll with a knob of butter and, under a silver dome, a bowl of chocolate profiteroles with cream. In short, exactly what she would have ordered in an expensive restaurant, given the choice, and if she’d ever been able to afford to eat in one. Also on the tray was a small metal jug of white wine, which made no sense. During her coma, had it become health service policy to keep patients inebriated? And why the metal jug?

“The boss says that you’re up and about now,” he remarked, placing the tray down and making sure it was well balanced on her knees. The jug of wine and glass he placed on her bedside table. Why wasn’t there a bunch of flowers in a vase? That’s the first thing her mother would have brought. It was the first thing she always took to friends and relatives in hospital, even the ones who suffered from hay fever.

“Who was the old man? The one who was here a minute ago?” she asked, as if there might be several old men in her wing of the hospital. “Grey hair. Beard. Beads,” she added.

The nurse merely gave a small shrug. “He’ll tell you himself the next time you meet. Anyway,” he added, making for the door, and looking uncomfortable, “if there’s anything else I can do, just ask.”

“I’d like to know how long I’ve been asleep.”

“Asleep?” The nurse raised one eyebrow.

“Yes, asleep. I mean, how long have I been here?”

He didn’t reply for a few moments, hands clasped behind his back. “Not long, as far as I know.”

“And how long is not long?” she asked. “Look, if you don’t know, could I please speak to someone who does.” Lorna, running out of patience, had raised her voice. The nurse took a step backwards towards the door.

“All in good time,” he assured her and indicated the tray. “For now, you need to eat. Get your strength back.”

“Look, I really need to know how long I’ve been here. Can I see a doctor? Actually, I shouldn’t have to bloody ask that, should I? What kind of useless hospital is this?”

The nurse, perhaps unused to being shouted at, had backed himself to the door. “Anything you need, just ask. Okay?”

Lorna wanted to scream at him. “But how?” she asked instead, looking around the blank walls for a call button. “And what did he mean by not feeding the little brutes?”

“Just ask, that’s all. Your room is sound-activated so don’t worry, I’ll hear.” He touched a blank place on the wall that somehow made the pneumatic door hiss open. “But he’s right about not feeding them,” he added as the white door closed again, leaving Lorna utterly exasperated. – The Things We Learn When We’re Dead

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What a spectacular novel that was filled with surprise and delight!!! When hearing about this book I wasn’t sure what to think but I am so glad that I chose to give it a chance because the reward was so rewarding that I wi have to read again in the future. From the first pages, this novel captivated me and didn’t let up either until the very end. I gladly endured a night without sleep for this 5 Star read and would without a doubt do it again.💙 This had to be one of the best books that I have read this year and I don’t take saying that lightly. If you are looking for a great plot, fantastic characters and a Book that will have you in awe, than this is the novel for you!😀💙 I overall just adored this 5 Star Read and I highly recommend it as well!😀

donald love

CL bandw

I was born in Paisley, central Scotland, which wasn’t my fault. That week, Eddie Calvert with Norrie Paramor and his Orchestra were Top of the Pops, with Oh, Mein Papa, as sung by a young German woman remembering her once-famous clown father. That gives a clue to my age, not my musical taste.

I was brought up in the west of Scotland and graduated from the University of Edinburgh. I still have the scroll, but it’s in Latin, so it could say anything.

I then worked briefly as a street actor, baby photographer, puppeteer and restaurant dogsbody before becoming a journalist. I started in Glasgow and ended up in London, covering news, features and politics. I interviewed motorbike ace Barry Sheene, Noel Edmonds threatened me with legal action and, because of a bureaucratic muddle, I was ordered out of Greece.

I then took a year to travel round the world, visiting 19 countries. Highlights included being threatened by a man with a gun in Dubai, being given an armed bodyguard by the PLO in Beirut (not the same person with a gun), and visiting Robert Louis Stevenson’s grave in Samoa. What I did for the rest of the year I can’t quite remember

Surprisingly, I was approached by a government agency to work in intelligence, which just shows how shoddy government recruitment was back then. However, it turned out to be very boring and I don’t like vodka martini.

Craving excitement and adventure, I ended up as a PR consultant, which is the fate of all journalists who haven’t won a Pulitzer Prize, and I’ve still to listen to Oh, Mein Papa.

I am married with two grown-up children and live in central Scotland. And that’s about it.

Twitter: @claidlawauthor

Facebook: charlielaidlawauthor

Website: www.charlielaidlawauthor.com

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R&R Book Tours

Thanks so much Reads &Reels Blog Tours for this opportunity! You rock!💖

 

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Schedule

May 14th

Reads & Reels (Guest Post)http://www.readsandreels.com

The Lit Cottage (Review)http://shellybajwa.wordpress.com/

Valerie’s Musings (Excerpt)http://valeriesmusings76.wordpress.com

Tranquil Dreams (Review)http://klling.wordpress.com

Splashes into Books (Promo)http://splashesintobooks.wordpress.com

May 15th

Insights into Books (Review)http://insightsintobooks.wordpress.com/

The Cozy Pages (Review)http://thecozypages.wordpress.com/

Touch My Spine Book Reviews (Review)https://touchmyspinebookreviews.com

Midwestern Ladies Who Lit (Excerpt)http://mwladieswholit.wordpress.com/

Jessica Rachow (Promo)http://jessicarachow.wordpress.com

May 16th

What Cathy Read Next (Review)https://whatcathyreadnext.wordpress.com/

Ali the Dragon Slayer (Review)http://www.alithedragonslayer.co.uk

Speedy Reader (Review)https://speedyreadercom.wordpress.com

May 17th

Jill’s Book Blog (Review)http://www.jilljemmett.com/

Where Dragon’s Reside (Excerpt)http://kernerangelina.wordpress.com/

Banshee Irish Horror Blog (Promo)www.bansheeirishhorrorblog.com

The Most Sublime (Promo)https://themostsublime.com

May 18th

Didi Oviatt (Review)https://didioviatt.wordpress.com

Cover 2 Cover (Review)http://liisthinks.blog

Nesie’s Place (Excerpt)https://nesiesplace.wordpress.com

Bri’s Book Nook (Review)http://brisbooknook.wordpress.com

The Voluptuous Book Diva (Review)http://www.thevoluptuousbookdiva.com/

Globe Flower (Promo)https://globeflower.co.uk

Hey Guys Check This Out!!! I Was Nominated And Need Some Votes On Twitter!😀❤Pllleeeaasees. Xoxo.😙

Check out @writethrunight’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/writethrunight/status/993136266861596672?s=09

So guys I am so excited that I even made it to get on this poll!!😍 I feel so blessed to be a part of the blogosphere and you guys are the cheese to my macaroni.🧀 If you think I am worthy of this title or maybe there is another awesome blogger on this list that you would like to vote for, please take out time to easily place your vote on Twitter!😙 Thank you so much to those that nominated me and thank you all for reading this post!😙🤗 Yay! *happy happy dances*❤💃✌💖😉🠼/b>



C


heck out @writethrunight’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/writethrunight/status/993136266861596672?s=09

Votes are super duper appreciated! Love yall!😗🤗

Stoneman Douglas Highschool Shooting in Parkland, Florida

In Parkland, Florida there has been a massive school shooting at Stoneman Douglas Highschool. This is such a tragic event that is effecting so many. The highschool near Miami, Florida was under attack shortly before 3pm. Many thought that the sounds were fire crackers but unfortunately they couldn’t imagine the tragedy they were facing. The school was locked down and 14 so far have been brought in to the hospital for treatment. There has been numerous fatalities reported but no clear count of devastating casualities yet.

As a mother of 3, this breaks my heart and my thoughts and prayers are with everyone affected by this horrible act of violence. Situations like this are traumatising and makes any parent or loved one fear their child going through this and their safety in a school. I’m so sorry to everyone for this tragedy and may God be with everyone going through this devastating horror.

Thankfully, a suspect has been taking in custody and I hope the justice system makes sure that the proper justice is served.